Old Souls and Young Love: A Profile of Calyn Shetley

by Taylor Higgins

 

“Her folks should have seen it coming; it was only just a matter of time. Plenty old enough, and you can’t stop love." You’ve heard the song, haven’t you?

Sara Evans' 2003 hit recounts the tale of a young girl, from whom much was expected, swept away in a whirlwind romance and elopement with a boy her parents don’t approve of, and the subsequent reaction of the small, evangelistic community she is from – a story Calyn Shetley is all too familiar with.

Calyn Shetley, 19, is very open about her elopement.

Shetley, formerly Calyn Marie McBryde, changed more than her last name when she eloped with her now husband in November. She says her new life is practically irreconcilable with her previous one.

“I was spoiled, and I was sheltered,” Shetley said in a phone interview Wednesday. “There was nothing I wanted that I didn’t have, but I wasn't allowed to decide my future; those decisions were being made for me.”

The 19-year-old North Carolina native is the only granddaughter of a prominent Independent Baptist preacher. Her life thus far has been and endless cycle of church, singing appearances, camp meetings, revival services, and church happenings. Because of this position, much was expected from her, and she was the last person anyone expected to suddenly run away and get married.

 “I am a wild and free spirit, but living under my parents’ and grandparents’ rule, I felt like a puppet,” Shetley said. “For the first time in my life, I felt like I did something for myself; like I was living for me, and I loved it.”

Shetley says people often question the necessity of her eloping versus a traditional engagement and wedding. Admittedly, she had only known husband CJ for two months at the time of marriage. But she says the spontaneity and excitement was what attracted her.

Shetley and husband, CJ, celebrate their first Christmas together.

“I understand that to a person looking from the outside in, eloping seems so quick and drastic, but when I met CJ, I knew almost immediately that I had I never felt that deeply before, and never would again,” said Shetley. “I knew he was the person God made for me, so timing was not even a consideration.”

But her reasons for such a rapid matrimony go further than her spirit of adventure. Shetley’s family was vehemently disapproving of CJ – they thought he was gay, and forbid her from seeing him. According to Shetley, though, their true reason for not allowing her to date was that they had already decided the guy she was to marry.

“The guy my parents and grandparents wanted me to marry was so arrogant, and I know I could not spend the rest of my life with him,” Shetley said. “I had to take control of my life, and it was kind of ‘now or never.’”

Shetley atop a ski lift in Gatlinburg, TN.

Shetley says she is the happiest she has ever been, but her actions haven’t come without a cost.

“My parents and grandparents disowned me,” Shetley said. “They didn’t call on my birthday or Christmas, and that was much harder to deal with than I thought it would be.”

Although Shetley was prepared for the loss of her family’s approval, she says she was surprised by the number of friends and church members who have also turned their back on her.

“I have only two very close friends who have remained in contact with me,” Shetley said. “My real dad’s family has also been fully supportive and accepting, and CJ’s family has taken me in as one of their own, but none of that replaces what my family has lost. And it is their loss.”

Despite the stormy start to their relationship, Shetley says she has found the greatest source of comfort and compassion during this trying time in her husband.

Shetley and husband CJ perform as singers.

“He has been incredibly understanding and has done his best to compensate for my family’s absence," Shetley said. “It sounds corny, but CJ has truly been my best friend, and he has become my family,”

Shetley has found the exciting off-the-cuff lifestyle she was looking for in her marriage. She and CJ now work as traveling Christian Singers, and recently recorded their first professional album. They’ve spent their first four months as newlyweds traveling all over the southeast performing their talents in the ministry they believe they have been called to. Last week, they received word that they will be headlining their first cruise ship performance to the Bahamas next January.

Although she would not go back to her old life for anything, Shetley says married life has brought its own set of challenges.

The Shetleys spent their first New Years at Disney World.

“Our biggest struggle right now is money and finances, but I think that is typical of most young marriages,” Shetley said. “With my parents, I was spoiled, and I didn’t think twice about going to get a pedicure whenever I wanted. As married people, CJ and I are learning together how to budget, and certain things have to be sacrificed. Unfortunately, the nail salon is one of those things.”

Despite the common and not-so-common challenges facing the Shetleys, they have found joy and further purpose in the marriage with the recent news of their first pregnancy. Although their union has been anything but traditional, husband CJ says he wouldn’t change a thing.

“When I first saw her more than two years ago on a Sunday night at McDonald’s, I wished that one day I would see her again,” CJ Shetley said to me from across a dinner table, beaming at his new wife. “This summer at a Youth Jubilee, my dream came true, and today here I sit with her, married and carrying our first baby. I am so thankful that God allowed me to marry Calyn.”

The Shetleys are now preparing for their first child.

Five years from now, Shetley says she sees herself as a stay-at-home mother, and hopes to have more children. She plans to pursue her music career alongside CJ, and wants to one day instruct music.

Looking back, would she have changed anything or done anything different?

“Yes – I would have done it sooner.”

She left the suds in the bucket.

To hear some of the Shetley's CD or to follow their life as traveling performers, please visit the Shetley Music Facebook page.

All photos courtesy CJ and Calyn Shetley.